Sister Wives (tv show)

Before you ask, no we're not into polygamy! 

The last few years there has been a reality tv show called Sister Wives which follows the family life of a polygamist family with 4 wives.

It's a fairly popular show, and I (rae) find it kinda interesting to watch the dynamic between all the family members. Cliff thinks it's stupid show, but he will sometimes watch it with me and it leads to some very interesting conversations. 

Now, neither of us believes that plural marriage is biblical, but it is still that family's choice to live the lifestyle they choose. But we do feel that is is wrong. Mostly we feel sorry for the kids that live that lifestyle and then choose it for themselves, because then it goes in a cycle and will never change.

It sounds crazy, but I think watching this show, and seeing all the different problems and situations that arise in these 4 marriages has helped our relationship. We can see the arguments or differences between the husband and each wife and talk about it. We can discuss what we would do in that situation, or how what they did didn't seem fair or right, or how that attitude really changed that situation, and on it goes.

A lot of the problems they have don't apply to us, because we don't have kids and aren't in a plural marriage, but a lot of their problems are just marital stuff that happens to everyone. While the rest of it is a little funky, some of the things they do to help or strengthen their marriage(s) is good advice or ideas, and that has certainly helped us as well.

From what we've seen on camera, it seems that a big issue that they either don't see or won't fix is the blame game. The dad blames almost everything on the wives, the kids, or the community or situation they're in. Seeing that attitude and how it affects the wives has been really good for us. Both of us struggle with blaming the other person, and I struggle more than Cliff. So it's really good for us to see what kind of damage it does, and how it hurts the relationship(s).

There have been a lot of times while we've been watching together that something will happen and we'll look at each other and ask things like 'do I do that?' or 'do I sound like that?' or 'do you feel that way?'

A lot of the time this will lead to conversations that are hard, but we always try to be very honest with each other. We don't ever want to hurt the other person, but we try to talk about problems we're having in a safe, non-threatening way. We know we're not perfect, and that we're going to do things that hurt and upset each other, but it's still hard to listen to compliants without getting upset.

It's something that we try very hard to do, because we value our relationship so much, we don't want to have problems in 10 years because one of us has been doing something harmful or hurtful that whole time and didn't know it.      (I'm sure we'l have problems in 10 years, but hopefully they will be newer problems that haven't festered for so long)

It sounds really weird to say, but I think watching the Sister Wives tv show has had a good influence on our relationship.

(Wow that sounds so weird!!!)